Be the Perfect Wedding Guest – (from a photographers POV)

Disclaimer - This post isn’t intended to be a “here is how you should behave” rant by a grumpy photographer, more a guide for guests or even a polite way for couples to inform their guests ahead of the wedding by discretely sharing this article.

Attending so many weddings, I often see guests doing things (usually unwittingly) that can adversely affect the photos or some other aspect of the wedding. There are countless blog posts out there about being the “perfect guest” and those will offer advice about being punctual, observing the dress code, not abusing the free bar and so on but, I could fill a whole blog post with photos that would have been amazing had that phone been away or had that dance floor been packed so that’s what Ill focus on here…..

Weddings can be tricky to navigate, sometimes with complex social etiquette and I hope some of this advice is valuable.

1.     Using your phone to take photos.

Take as many pictures as you can throughout the day.  A wedding is a special day, and everyone wants photos to remember the occasion to share with friends. The couple will be thrilled to see all the photos you have taken of their day too.

The most important thing though is to be subtle about it. The bride and groom have paid for a professional photographer to capture the day – they want to see guests being present and in the moment, they want to see smiling faces in the background of their photos, especially at key moments like the ceremony, confetti shots or first dance.

Don’t be that guest who brings an iPad with a big flappy cover and pokes it out into the isle as the bride walks down, ruining a magical moment. I know everyone wants to get those key photos but the couple wont thank you for it when they receive their photos.

I understand some guests might be live streaming for loved ones that cant make it or they have been asked to video the ceremony etc and that’s fine but if the celebrant asks everyone to put their phones away please respect the couples wishes.

Honestly, you wouldn’t believe how often I’m asked if I can photoshop the phones out of shots.

2.     Bringing the big camera.

Weddings can be a great chance for amateur photographers to capture shots for their portfolio or to practice for themselves, hopefully even get a few shots the couple might like and this is great.

 I have absolutely no problem with people bringing cameras, I’ll even take you along for the couples shoot if you ask, give me space to get what I need and the couple are cool with it.

There are a few things to avoid though. Please don’t shoot over our shoulder for group shots, guests often don’t know where to look and get confused who they should be smiling at.

Try not to set up group shots whilst the photographer is trying to do the same thing. I try and work as efficiently as possible for these group shots and any delays can prolong the formals and eat into the wedding day time which is usually already at a premium.

3.     Be present.

 I touched on this in point two above but try and make the day as amazing as possible for the couple who have been kind enough to invite you.

A few examples –

 Get up and surround the dancefloor for the first dance, the photos will look a hundred times better with smiling faces of friends and family than people chatting at tables looking disinterested.    

Turn your phone on silent for the key moments like ceremony, speeches etc.

Hit the dancefloor and enjoy yourself. Believe me, all couples dred having a flat wedding reception with a band playing away to an empty floor with only a few kids doing knee slides and a drunk dad moonwalking. Have a few shandies for enthusiasm, get up there and give it all you’ve got to get the party bouncing.

 4.     Social Media

 Again, it’s just a matter of common sense with this. If you are a day guest try and keep your insta stories or snap chats limited to nothing that will give away any of the venue or couple details, at least until the evening guests have arrived. The couple want everyone to see them and their venue when they arrive. Not while evening guests are getting ready at 6pm and yet to arrive.

 Couples often request that nobody shares photos of the bride and groom until they have had the chance to do so and even if they haven’t its always a good idea to play it safe and wait. Brides usually want to share the first glimpse of their wedding themselves and with a professional photo they have chosen from a selection. I realise that everyone is keen to share photos of the day but please let the couple have that pleasure first.

I hope this can be helpful and show that being a perfect wedding guest means being respectful, considerate, and celebrating the couple's special day with joy and enthusiasm.