Be the Perfect Wedding Guest – (from a photographers POV)

Disclaimer - This post isn’t intended to be a “here is how you should behave” rant by a grumpy photographer, more a guide for guests or even a polite way for couples to inform their guests ahead of the wedding by discretely sharing this article.

Attending so many weddings, I often see guests doing things (usually unwittingly) that can adversely affect the photos or some other aspect of the wedding. There are countless blog posts out there about being the “perfect guest” and those will offer advice about being punctual, observing the dress code, not abusing the free bar and so on but, I could fill a whole blog post with photos that would have been amazing had that phone been away or had that dance floor been packed so that’s what Ill focus on here…..

Weddings can be tricky to navigate, sometimes with complex social etiquette and I hope some of this advice is valuable.

1.     Using your phone to take photos.

Take as many pictures as you can throughout the day.  A wedding is a special day, and everyone wants photos to remember the occasion to share with friends. The couple will be thrilled to see all the photos you have taken of their day too.

The most important thing though is to be subtle about it. The bride and groom have paid for a professional photographer to capture the day – they want to see guests being present and in the moment, they want to see smiling faces in the background of their photos, especially at key moments like the ceremony, confetti shots or first dance.

Don’t be that guest who brings an iPad with a big flappy cover and pokes it out into the isle as the bride walks down, ruining a magical moment. I know everyone wants to get those key photos but the couple wont thank you for it when they receive their photos.

I understand some guests might be live streaming for loved ones that cant make it or they have been asked to video the ceremony etc and that’s fine but if the celebrant asks everyone to put their phones away please respect the couples wishes.

Honestly, you wouldn’t believe how often I’m asked if I can photoshop the phones out of shots.

2.     Bringing the big camera.

Weddings can be a great chance for amateur photographers to capture shots for their portfolio or to practice for themselves, hopefully even get a few shots the couple might like and this is great.

 I have absolutely no problem with people bringing cameras, I’ll even take you along for the couples shoot if you ask, give me space to get what I need and the couple are cool with it.

There are a few things to avoid though. Please don’t shoot over our shoulder for group shots, guests often don’t know where to look and get confused who they should be smiling at.

Try not to set up group shots whilst the photographer is trying to do the same thing. I try and work as efficiently as possible for these group shots and any delays can prolong the formals and eat into the wedding day time which is usually already at a premium.

3.     Be present.

 I touched on this in point two above but try and make the day as amazing as possible for the couple who have been kind enough to invite you.

A few examples –

 Get up and surround the dancefloor for the first dance, the photos will look a hundred times better with smiling faces of friends and family than people chatting at tables looking disinterested.    

Turn your phone on silent for the key moments like ceremony, speeches etc.

Hit the dancefloor and enjoy yourself. Believe me, all couples dred having a flat wedding reception with a band playing away to an empty floor with only a few kids doing knee slides and a drunk dad moonwalking. Have a few shandies for enthusiasm, get up there and give it all you’ve got to get the party bouncing.

 4.     Social Media

 Again, it’s just a matter of common sense with this. If you are a day guest try and keep your insta stories or snap chats limited to nothing that will give away any of the venue or couple details, at least until the evening guests have arrived. The couple want everyone to see them and their venue when they arrive. Not while evening guests are getting ready at 6pm and yet to arrive.

 Couples often request that nobody shares photos of the bride and groom until they have had the chance to do so and even if they haven’t its always a good idea to play it safe and wait. Brides usually want to share the first glimpse of their wedding themselves and with a professional photo they have chosen from a selection. I realise that everyone is keen to share photos of the day but please let the couple have that pleasure first.

I hope this can be helpful and show that being a perfect wedding guest means being respectful, considerate, and celebrating the couple's special day with joy and enthusiasm.

25 questions to ask your wedding photographer

I thought this would be a good guide for anyone looking to book a wedding photographer and for me to provide a little bit of insight into how I work, so here we go, 25 questions to ask your wedding photographer.

1. How would you define your style?

My style is definitely laid back, natural, contemporary and more reportage than traditional and posed.. My aim is to tell the story of your day through my images and to ensure everyone is relaxed. I understand that you want amazing images but I also understand that you want to be able to enjoy the day without feeling awkward about the photos or feeling like you are missing whats happening by being away for a long time having photos taken. Hopefully if you look through my work and read my reviews you can see that people are relaxed. I want to create real memories with real emotions that will last a lifetime. I try and use natural light wherever possible but Im also happy to use a flash when needed.

2.We have certain ideas we would like – can you do these?

Of course, I love to work with couples who have photo ideas. We can discuss and build on your vision to create something amazing.

3. Can you show me a complete set of recent wedding photos from start to finish?

This is something that is very important when choosing a photographer. Anyone can show one or two handpicked images from a particular wedding and share these but you need to see a set of images from a whole wedding to get an idea of consistency across the day. When I share images I like to include a number of photos across the whole day for this reason.

4. Do you have insurance?

Yes, I am fully insured for Public Liability and Professional Indemnity and all our equipment is covered for loss, damage or Force Majeure.

5. Are you a member of any professional photography organisations?

No. I am 100% self taught. I started photographing friends weddings and my experience built from there. I’ve never been a 2nd shooter for anyone else and whilst maybe a little reckless in the early days, I like to think that has helped me define my own path and style without any influence from others. I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion on this matter but I think your work is gauged on the quality of your images and the feedback from people with whom you have worked with on the day rather than a few letters or a membership of an organisation.

6. What happens if you fall ill on the day?

I have to be dead to not attend your wedding lol - I take an aspirin and plough on!! Seriously though, I do have a network of friends and use forums with other photographers I could call on in the unlikely event of something happening that meant I couldn’t attend.

7. What happens if your camera develops a fault?

Being a professional photographer it is essential that I have back up of everything. I lay out my equipment on a table and take one thing away. If I couldn’t shoot your wedding to my best ability with this item missing then I need a back up. Typically I take 3 cameras and up to 10 lenses with me. This is something you need to check with your photographer as it’s something less experienced photographers might overlook .

8. What happens if it rains?

You get a little wet and we get amazing photos regardless!!! In Scotland it does tend to rain a lot but I have never had a day where we havent managed out side for a few shots in weather gaps. I carry umbrellas and you would be amazed how we can still catch outdoor photos with a few groomsmen on hand with umbrellas or table clothes on the ground to protect dresses.I always work with venues to come up with a plan B to utilise indoor space and if you know my work, well, lets just say if it rains in the evening I’m a happy bunny lol ';)

9. Can my other guests take pictures?

Of course - I actively encourage guests to take photos and I’m usually giving out advice or asking to look at their cameras. Phones are amazing these days and guest can take amazing images so it keeps me on my toes and means I have to keep raising my game to keep ahead.

10. I dont see many formal group shots shared on your pages - do you do family group shots.

Yes - 100%. I dont share many group shots because nobody really wants to see other families lined up but I do think these shots are important. Mums and Dads want something for the mantlepiece but standing on the same spot for countless photos doesn’t appeal to many people (nor me) but I would advise to at least have the important ones covered - Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, Bridal Party, both close families etc

11. When will I see my photos?

On the night of your wedding I will edit and send over 5-10 images so you have these before you go to bed. Its a great way to end the day and it also means you can share a few awesome ones the next day before the dodgy phone shots from guests start to appear haha!!

I aim to deliver the final images to you within a month of the wedding.

12. How can I actually be sure that you’ll be any good and that we’ll get along?

I think it’s important that we meet before the wedding so you can be sure you will be comfortable with me being around on the day and I’d also encourage you to look through all of my images. I am consistent with the work I share - I try and share every wedding I shoot, not just the favourites that I think will attract more work. I have client testimonials and reviews on my page and actively encourage anyone to contact previous couples for references.

13. Do we feed you on the day.

While it isn’t a deal breaker, something to eat would be amazing. I’m on my feet for over 12 hours so having something hot to eat means I dont have to break out the cheese sandwiches haha.

14. Who will actually take my photographs?

Me - I dont have any associate shooters. If you book me it will be me that shoots your wedding.

15. Do you bring a second photographer.

No, I like to shoot on my own. My aim is to catch natural photos and whilst it’s a bit of a cliche, see everything but never be seen. Working on my own means I can fly under the radar a little easier with little to no presence. If a 2nd photographer is specifically requested then this can be arranged with associated costs agreed.

16. Do you cope well under pressure and what about any emergencies on the day?

I like to think so. The more experience you have the more relaxed you can be and confident in your ability to capture the day the way you want. Any nervousness or stress shown by your photographer will simply rub off on the couple and this will be evident in the images.

17. How far ahead should we book?

Due to demand I am currently booking Saturday weddings up to three years in advance - there are spare weekends in between but it is never too early to get your photographer booked. I always think that having your venue, photographer and band are the three main things to get booked as soon as possible. Midweek and winter weddings are also growing in popularity so dont rule these out either.

18. My Wedding is not in Scotland is that a problem?

No, I regularly travel abroad for destination weddings. Ive been to Thailand, Lake Garda, Tuscany, Portugal and Greece.

19. How do we book?

You can reach me through any of the contact streams on my site with your wedding date and venue. I’ll get back to you straight away and if I have your date free I’ll send all of the details through. Then we can arrange a meeting to chat through your plans for your big day.

20. We have a Videographer, is that a problem?

No, I actually love working with videographers, especially ones who can offer creative input and work with me. It is just as important to me that your video turns out amazing as it is the photos. I hear a lot of stories about photographers who write into their agreements that they have to take the lead and the videographer has to work around them. thats not for me, If I’m working with a videographer then we are a team we work together to get the best end result. I work regularly with videographers and can even recommend ones who I think are aligned with my style too.

21. What is included in your package?

To keep things simple I only have one package. You get me from as early as you want in the morning until late into the dancing at night. Its important for me that I tell your story through my images. I dont have a silver or bronze package, one price and for that you get everything and will never have to pay a penny more. I don’t provide albums as they are so easy to do online with templates now and I find most couples actually enjoy sitting down and designing their own.

One thing that I that separates me from most other photographers is that I will provide you with every single image I take on the day. Most photographers provide a set number of images and that all you get. On a typical wedding day Ill shoot up to 1500 images and Id far rather you have them as a record of your day than they sit on a hard drive on my computer, never to be seen. I know most photographers only want their very best work out there and dont want anyone seeing mistakes but for me I’d rather provide all the straight from camera shots in a separate folder to the edited images. I can also edit any particular image that is special to you to match the final edited shots.

22. How much would it be for an additional hour?

It would be free because I dont have set hours. My job is to cover your wedding to the best of my ability and if I was restricted to set hours I feel this might compromise my ability to capture your day. Obviously if I’m only there for a half day or a set amount of hours as part of a discounted agreement then that is different.

23. How long have you been taking wedding photos for?

I shot my first wedding in 2014 - a friend who had spent all their money and knew me as the guy with a camera. I really enjoyed it and havent looked back since.

24. What information do you need from us?

Just the main things like timings. locations, any specific family dynamics you think I should know., order of the day that kind of thing. I am also happy for couples to send me over images they like ahead of the wedding (doesn’t have to be mine) as that helps me create a mood board of sorts and build up a picture of what they like - most couples just ask me to get on with it and do my thing though.

25. Questions to ask yourself before booking.

Do I feel a positive connection with this photographer?

Am I confident in their ability and can I trust them to capture the biggest day of my life.

Has this photographer listened and addressed all of my concerns?

CHoosing the right photographer for your wedding.

I get lots of enquiries and unfortunately, I am sometimes already booked for the date a couple have in mind.

I wanted to share my thoughts on how you should go about choosing your photographer - lets face it there are countless wedding photographers out there, all with hugely differing styles, personalities and prices.

Here are a few of mytips for anyone looking to book a photographer:

1. Choose a photographer whose work excites you. Your wedding photos are an investment that you only really get one chance to capture. Choose a photographer who isnt just happy to deliver you "nice" photos that are a record of your day. Choose one that will capture the essence of your day, all the little looks, smiles, squeezing hands, all the things you didnt even know happened. Choose a photographer who will deliver you photos that you will be proud of for decades to come.

2. Make sure you meet your photographer, even if it is just a video chat. Your photographer will be around you and your guests all day and its important you get a good feeling when you meet and that you have confidence in how they will perform.

3. Make sure you see work from a whole wedding. Your photographer should share a range of images from the day. Anyone can show a few money shots from each wedding that suits their style but you need to see consistency over the whole day.

4. Make sure your photographer is as passionate about your wedding as you are. One that treats every wedding (whether it be a small two hour job or a 200 guest bash at a fancy venue) with the same respect, enthusiasm and excitement.

5. Speak to friends and ask for honest recommendations. If you post on a forum asking for recommendations you'll simply be bombarded by photographers or sometimes people who want to recommend their own photographer to justify their own selection. Speak to someone you can trust will give you honest feedback.

Its a bit of cliche but when all is said and done your cake will be eaten, flowers will have died and your dress will be packed away leaving you with just your photos.

All of the above is why its important to me that you choose the right photographer - that might not be me and thats fine, I'd rather you choose the one that fits.